


Innocent Years

by SaltyButter



Category: N/A - Fandom
Genre: Abandoned Amuesment Park, Astro World (The Actual Park), Based on a True Story, Loss, Mental Illness, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 06:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyButter/pseuds/SaltyButter
Summary: I’ll see you soon.





	Innocent Years

  Our scuffed knees seemed like a trademark, as if we were born by falling on asphalt, leaving the red marks scarred there. The cool mud under our feet, the scent of fresh leaves whispering in our nostrils. We may have lived somewhere populated, but in the forest, where the trees were too thick to see buildings outside the chainlink fence. We felt as if we were the only ones on earth, some days I would wish that was true, just you and me, and the trees. We would always visit the old ruins of our parents previous amusement park, where my Mother worked as an employee. Astro World, the tall rusted roller coasters, where I had no courage to even watch you climb. We acted as if the small vendors that lined the cracked concrete walk way still served whatever they had been, making jokes about what we could’ve done as pranks. Our laughter and screams filled the park once again, my imagination took over and it felt as if the park sighed in relief, that someone was still having fun, even in its ruins. At that moment, I could sit there forever, laughing at our dumb inside jokes.

It was all I ever wanted in life, of course this was before I had even been exposed to the world, being homeschooled and barely going places, I had little knowledge about what was happening outside my neighborhood. But that day I finally realized how harsh life could be, when you said to me; ‘The Doctor said I don’t have much time to live.’

I thought you were kidding, until that grim look never left your face. I knew if you had lied you’d already be laughing, it felt like one of those dramatic shows I would glance at my mom watching. My mind slowly melted, only on the outside did I accept it, and shove in what I wanted to scream.

Before I could even say what I wanted to say for all those years, you were gone. I had never been more furious with a doctor until then, denying me access at every corner. Years slowly crept by, until it had been almost ten years sense I stepped a foot into the woods again. Looking back I should’ve just turned away again, following the sidewalk to my house after I had been dropped off the loud bus. Climbing over the fence, my muscles ached, it’d been so long since I’ve even used them. Dropping down, The cracks of dried leaves and sticks made my hair stand up. I continued, the familiar broken sign hung above me. ‘Astro World’ could barely be read as the paint was sapped of all life from the burning sun, I didn’t stop walking, hot tears falling down my face. Thats when it started.

 

The disgusting orange of pill bottles, the constant questioning from therapists and psychiatrists.

Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, OCD, ADHD.

Nothing satisfied them as they slapped more labels onto my chest, the constant reminder that I was sick. And once my sister seemed to be going down the same path as you did, what was I supposed to do? I wanted to give up, I couldn’t put on the act anymore, helping everyone else with their problems, only leaving mine unattended.

Politics, Money, Relationships, Children.

Is this what it’s like? Now more than ever, I wish I could go back to the years where smelling like the outdoors was normal. Where we listened to Coldplay and The Beetles on my beat up old iPod. Where I didn’t feel terrible, and unwanted.

My Innocent Years. The ones I crave so dearly, but that’s not how life works is it? So I keep going, until I find my purpose. Because I know you see me, and I don’t want to disappoint you again. I’ll be there soon, so please be patient for me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, this id my first piece I’ve posted on ao3, thank you for the support!


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